This past Tuesday marked an important point in the election season, with 12 different states holding their primary elections. Below we’ve compiled a short recap– canine style
Dognald Trump
What we know
- Not a fan of Chihuahuas
- Wants to put up a fence around yard
- To keep out Chihuahuas
- The Chihuahuas will pay for it
His supporters mainly consist of other boxers, and breeds such as Rottweilers, Pit Bulls, and Dobermans
Super Tuesday Wins: Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia
Barko Rubio
What we know
- Somewhat better attitude towards Chihuahuas than Dognald
- Somewhat better hair than Dognald
- Somewhat worse support than Dognald
With a much smaller following than his competitors, Barko Rubio tends to be favored by fellow frenchies, other breeds of bulldogs, and his mom.
Super Tuesday Wins: Minnesota
Ted Pawz
What we know
- Always looks sort of sad
- Even when smiling
- May or may not be responsible for string of killings in Northern California during the 1960s/70s
Ted Pawz seems to draw a somewhat more diverse following than Dognald, and somewhat larger following than Barko, which is good enough in his mind
Super Tuesday Wins: Alaska, Oklahoma, and Texas
Boney Sanders
What we know
- Old
- Glasses
- Believes all dogs deserve free trips to the vet, free training, and unlimited bones
With an all-inclusive campaign platform, Boney Sanders seems to appeal to all sorts of breeds, but is largely favored by puppies.
Super Tuesday Wins: Colorado, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Vermont
Hilpuppy Clinton
What we know
- Also old (ish)
- No glasses
- Attempts to relate to puppies, fails
Hilpuppy Clinton is favored among breeds such as pugs, english bulldogs, and shar peis, and despite attempts to relate to younger voters, seems to resonate mostly with older dogs.
Super Tuesday Wins: Alaska, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia
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