By: Isabela Hatzmann
October 20, 2015
16 Reasons Pit Bulls SUCK!
1. Pit Bulls love bacon as much as humans, and they always expect you to give them 1 of 5 pieces. You comply.
2. They attack… vacuum cleaners.
3. They want you to take the time to tuck them into bed, story and all.
4. When they try something new with their ears and you don’t notice… they get all upset.
5. Your definition of, “there’s still room” is different than the pits of the house.
6. Most Pit Bulls have mastered the “feel bad for me” whine. It’s adorable.
7. People are afraid of Pit Bulls, and the Pit Bull has no idea why… that sucks.
8. Especially, when some Pit Bulls are afraid of some harmless rain.
9. There are days your Pit Bull will make the rules (and it’ll make you laugh).
10. Tell your Pit Bull you’ll be right back, and she’ll hold you to it.
11. Tell this Pit that this isn’t his bed… Dare ya.
12. There’s a good chance your Pit Bull is just a super playful, loving pup.
13. They are also amazingly determined.
14. When you realize he actually doesn’t understand what you’re saying after an entire conversation…
15. It’s impossible to out-silly some Pitbulls, in fact… you probably shouldn’t even try. They are the best!
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October 20, 2015
17 Reasons Mastiffs SUCK
1. Mastiffs can be real snarky, snickering and being cute, all that terrible stuff.
2. The cat likes the Mastiff more than the humans in your house.
3. When you have to wake up, your Mastiff doesn’t.
4. Mastiffs enjoy being back-seat cookers, much like back-seat drivers… only they make sure you’re cooking correctly.
5. It takes no time at all to look this cute, it’s natural.
6. Mastiff’s have their own unique way of letting you know what they think of your jokes.
7. Tennis Ball? (Hahahaha) No.
8. Equip your Mastiff with plenty of fun toys, or he’ll give you a friendly reminder.
9. Try fibbing to your Mastiff and he’ll give you this look.
10. They get twitchy when they realize you’re near and not showing them affection. But they definitely deserve all the love possible 🙂
12. Only your Mastiff would be able to get away with the noises and faces that are made at mealtime.
13. Even your Mastiff can’t stand the stench of their gas – there’s a chance they thinks you did it.
14. Your Mastiff doesn’t mind the mud… even if you do.
15. A coffee table? No, there’s no room. You’d much rather have the Mastiffs anyway.
16. They can pull off a snaggle-toothed sleep-face better than any human… Adorable.
17. You can’t help but love them to shreds!
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October 20, 2015
15 Reasons Boxers SUCK!
1. Frequently, your Boxer’s patients outdoes your own –…showoff.
2. So nosey! Curiosity killed the cat, not the Boxer.
3. They’ll wait for you to get home… And then act real excited, making you feel kind of bad for leaving in the first place.
4. The camera loves your Boxer more than you.
5. Who does this Boxer think he is? “I am Batman” –Boxer who stole your costume idea.
6. Boxers are never self-conscience about going to the beach… It’s just not fair.
7. This used to be your favorite spot…
8. No shame, no modesty – Boxers just let it hang out simply for the sake of comfort.
9. Their slumber game is on point, and beats yours.
10. The Boxer’s guilt trip game is also pretty hardcore.
11. Your boxer or 2 expects you to share your food with them…
12. You can tell a Boxer to smile nice, and they just do whatever they want.
13. What’s your Boxers is his. What is yours, is also your Boxer’s.
14. They do what they can to get their point across (and won’t stop until you comply).
15. Rarely, even after so much effort does your Boxer seem impressed.
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October 20, 2015
15 Reasons Great Danes SUCK!
1. Great Danes, they can reach everything.
2. The world is your Great Dane’s head rest.
3. If you need some time alone – A Great Dane doesn’t really know what that means. But you love it.
4. Sometimes their ‘Crazy Eyes’ make an appearance – and you reevaluate whether it’s time to get up or not…
5. Great Dane: I want to go for a ride and feel the air…. Right now. You: Okay.
6. You wish you could trade lives for a day or two with your Great Dane – but you can’t and that sucks.
7. Some Great Danes are way better looking than you… without even trying. Life.
8. They take up the whole couch – and you don’t have the heart to make them move. You wouldn’t dare move your fur child!
9. Your Great Dane has a lot more toys than you do – He’s more spoiled than you are & to top it off – he knows it.
10. “You aren’t going anywhere….” –Great Dane (It sucks not being the one to call the shots).
11. Great Danes do not fit through a typical Doggy-Door. They need the human door. You’re used to it.
12. They know their angles and Great Danes are more photogenic than you are. Sucks, huh?
13. Great Danes are bed hogs, and there is no way around it. But the snuggles they provide are the best!
14. Great Danes suck at hiding – but there is no lack of trying.
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October 20, 2015
16 Reasons Bulldogs… SUCK!
1. When a Bulldog snuggles… they snuggle real hard.
2. Bulldogs slobber with love!
3. The lack of cares in the world Bulldogs possess is something you strive for, but have difficulty obtaining. It’s not fair.
4. Side eye given by an English Bulldog can make you question your behavior – even if you’re just sitting there.
5. English Bulldogs like winter and snow… *shutters.* Too cute.
6. This face is cuter than yours… and no one asks an English Bulldog if everything is okay, just because he’s not smiling.
7. Their gas… that comes out of their behind is unworldly.
8. Privacy is a concept Bulldogs are unaware of. And it’s awesome.
9. Your friends will like your Bulldog more than you.
10. After a while a Bulldog will believe they have the same rights to the furniture as you. But you don’t mind sharing.
11. A Bulldog – if unimpressed with your shenanigans – will let you know he’s over it.
12. …They always insist on being included. It’s all about the Bulldog.
13. It can appear your Bulldog is more badass than you are.
14. English Bulldogs think they’re so funny. And they are. That’s what make ’em so great!
15. They make you feel bad for leaving them behind… Like, really bad.
16. When this stuff happens, you just can’t stay mad. They are too loving!
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October 20, 2015
17 French Bulldogs With Massive Ambitions
1. “I am not a Pug… or a Boston Terrier …I’m a French Bulldog.”
2. When your French Bulldog schools you on priorities.
3. I’m ready for my close-up…
4. “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.”
—Woodrow Wilson
5. I do what I want.
6. They said I couldn’t fly… They said my legs were too short…
7. This French Bulldog is obviously going places.
8. Any French Bulldog who gets around via scooter has dreams and goals.
9. Speaking of dreams and goals… this French Bulldog also has a few of them.
10. “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”
—Johnny Depp
11. Ambition can come from all sorts of things…
12. If we work together… who am I kidding – I’ll race you to the middle.
13. This Frenchie has true fetching dedication.
14. Sometimes the ambition and motivation gets misplaced.
15. The energy can be reestablished when a chip bag gets opened in the kitchen.
16. Reminder: You do not own a Frenchie – Your Frenchie owns you.
17. “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.”
—Kinky Friedman
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October 20, 2015
10 American Bulldogs Who Are Completely Over It.
1. The baby seems more excited than the American Bulldog regarding their blossoming friendship.
2. In case you missed the memo, your American Bulldog is tired of watching the same old shit on the TV all the time.
3. No more photos, please.
4. Just like you, this American Bulldog wants to destroy the alarm clock.
5. I’m over this whole…walking like an animal thing…
6. Who walks in the rain? Why are we walking in the rain?
7. We all know how it goes… This is obviously an A & B conversation… so we will C ourselves out.
8. This cat… thinking it can do whatever it wants.
9. They were so over being cooped up in the house… Problem solved.
10. Rules? He’s over those too.
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October 20, 2015
18 Of The Greatest Labrador Shenanigans… Ever.
1. Lobster – Labrador Staredown.
2. There’s no Labrador like a 1940’s Labrador.
3. Happiest Labrador you’ll ever lay eyes on… hands down.
4. The Labrador has a good point… there may still be some wear on this.
5. No shame, Labrador… no shame.
6. It’s unclear what this Labrador thinks about the balloon…
7. Fast, most efficient way to give your Labrador a good scrubbin’
8. You cannot get upset with a Labrador who just wants good breath.
9. A Labrador’s best day ever, may include this.
10. A rainy day… a flood… whatever is going on here…does not stop this Labrador.
11. This is real life for this Labrador.
12. Show us a dog with a more amazing squishy face than a Labrador.
13. Some Labradors will do anything for a laugh… or curiosity.
14. Labrador + Stick = Pure Joy.
15. Sometimes a shower is just the most comfortable place, said the Labrador.
16. They aren’t called Labrador Retrievers for nothing.
17. Some Labradors sleep just like you and me.
https://instagram.com/p/v0G6qdFI19
18. This Labrador is concerned we’re making fun of his friends… We assure you, we love Labradors!
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October 14, 2015
15 Photos That Scientifically Prove GSD’s Trump Us Humans.
1. It doesn’t take a whole lot to make a German Shepherds day.
2. They’re always ready to go when you are.
3. Not much shakes their positive attitudes.
5. They do not judge humans the way some humans judge humans.
6. Actually, they don’t judge at all.
7. A German Shepherd will not nag about a wrong turn.
8. An apology from a German Shepherd is always sincere.
9. He wants to be sprayed with the garden hose, unlike his teenage human sister.
10. Because sometimes you just need an ear – without questions.
11. The only time a German Shepherd will turn his back on you, is so you can rub his tummy.
12. Not many of your human friends offer such help cleaning up after you.
13. German Shepherds let you listen to whatever radio station you want.
14. It’s nearly impossible for two humans to snuggle comfortably on a couch.
15. German Shepherds are comfortable in their own skin and rarely concern themselves with being modest.
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October 13, 2015
10 Reasons Rottweilers are COMPLETELY TERRIFYING!
ONE: They’re careless… and will let it just all hang out. No shame.
TWO: When a pack of them… stares up at you with their little puppy dog eyes, the scary thought of wanting one or two Rotts might start creeping in.
THREE: They demand… butt scratches on the regular. They love them, it makes rottweilers happy – in turn, making you happy! They’re good at that kind of stuff.
FOUR: They have no mercy…. And will pop every last bubble you blow… WITH NO MERCY!
FIVE: They steal… Your socks, and then look at you like you’re crazy for even asking for an explanation.
SIX: They’re strong… to the point of absolutely winning a pretty passionately played out game of tug-o-war.
SEVEN: Their broad, muscular face… will tell you exactly what they’re thinking. You may have to be looked at like you’re crazy by your Rottweiler here & there.
EIGHT: Ignorant people… will assume that your Rottweiler is going to eat their little dog. They might pickup their little (cute) ankle biter, or move to the other side of the road. It’s terrifying people can be that way.
NINE: They will attack… your personal space. Sure, you want to say hello to the Rottie too, perhaps even allow it to lay on ya.
TEN: Their Teeth. Sometimes, Rottweilers will show their teeth… and smile at you. It’s terrible. It will even make you feel good and laugh. *shutter*