1. Why am I under the bed if I thought it was mine? ….I like it here.
2. Prove I was in the flour…. Oh. On my face? Fair enough.
3. I thought this would be a lot more fun, if I’m being honest.
4. I know you’re upset, but can you just help me out and get this off my face?
5. I heard you talking the other day that you wanted new carpet. You’re welcome?
7. I’m just a puppy, so you can’t really be too mad… right?
8. I tried telling you if I didn’t have a new toy soon I’d eat the ornaments. You didn’t listen.
9. If we stick to our story, she’ll never know we both did it.
10. If I had thumbs, I’d absolutely help you pick it up.
11. It was the pug’s idea… I tried to talk him out of it. Boxers are smarter and more mature…ya know? I can’t keep lying. I did it. All.
12. Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom
13. You’re the best human and deserve a new patio set anyway…
15. Weird, the toilet paper keeps following me out of the bathroom.
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