1. Why am I under the bed if I thought it was mine? ….I like it here.

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2. Prove I was in the flour…. Oh. On my face? Fair enough.

3. I thought this would be a lot more fun, if I’m being honest.

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4. I know you’re upset, but can you just help me out and get this off my face?

5. I heard you talking the other day that you wanted new carpet. You’re welcome?

7. I’m just a puppy, so you can’t really be too mad… right?


8. I tried telling you if I didn’t have a new toy soon I’d eat the ornaments. You didn’t listen.

9. If we stick to our story, she’ll never know we both did it.

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10. If I had thumbs, I’d absolutely help you pick it up.

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11. It was the pug’s idea… I tried to talk him out of it. Boxers are smarter and more mature…ya know? I can’t keep lying. I did it. All.

12. Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom

A photo posted by Julie Martin (@okcjim) on

13. You’re the best human and deserve a new patio set anyway…

15. Weird, the toilet paper keeps following me out of the bathroom.

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